Posted by Brought you by PSN
Highlights in this Interview:
- Learn to recognize the cause of some behaviors, lack of communication
- Become familiar with identifying the real “why” of agitation
- Discover how reaching beyond the behavior allows for connecting with the cause
- Realize how environment is impacting your child
PSN: What have you found works best when you are entering into a situation where a child is in an agitated state or a behavior?
Interviewee: What I’ve done had been probably over simplified but I’ve noticed that generally speaking they feed off behavior that they’re being surrounded by or the environment that they are being surrounded by so like a whatever sets them off might not have come from the environment, but if I can change the feel of the environment to just like a calming presence like the heavy blanket theory so to think. I think just calm down pretty quick.
PSN: So like what is your go to interaction for that like for the most part I understand like so individualized what they need and stuff. But do you that verbally or non-verbally?
Interviewee: I mean, it depends on the person but verbally too so like sometimes I’ll find like a tone voice, some people respond to a sound. So sometimes I’ll just can kind of cascade them, “Hey, we’re good. What’s going on?” I mean the words aren’t really important so much because they are not the same words. But they hear a tone often. I can’t say they like it is one big group but it’s going to sound little hippy dippy. I try to be really really aware of the aesthetic of the environment and what the influence are for them. And if I can give them new influence that take over sort of kind of pushed out whatever sets them off. It can be internal, it can be external, doesn’t really matter. But if I kind of gauge just by feel what might push that out I go to that, and that’s different for every person. I know that it doesn’t sound super scientific but I’m pretty empathetic so I kind of feel what other people are feeling, so that’s my go to. I try to feel what they are feeling and I try to get there with them. Then I try to engulf them environment. I try to get to their spot whatever that may be to figure out what they respond to just by feel and just try to push them at. I find that works a lot of the time. I mean not all the time, nothing works all the time. Now you just saw my hippy side. Don’t freak out about that.
PSN: There goes tough guy.
Interviewee: Science degree, Masters in Science you have.
PSN: No, I understand you’re removing the external.
Interviewee: It might not even be external things. It might be so say they have this outer shell. We don’t, we just see the outer shell, and there is a space, and then there is this inside person that doesn’t really know how to communicate necessarily with the outside world. It doesn’t know how to receive communication from the outside world to varying degrees. So I try to put out the shell and get inside to it, whatever they freak to, and I try to identify and be right there. You can be like their stuffed animal for a second and once they have accepted that then you can kind of take them over once they are cam; because it is usually a confusion. I feel like it’s usually just a confusion and frustration, like I can’t communicate with this world. I can’t communicate with me, what’s going on. I mean that’s what I feel like often the internal.
PSN: I would agree with that. Like a frustration born of confusion.
Interviewee: Yeah. I don’t belong in this world, what is happening, I can’t… If you can get there with them they are like, “Is there somebody else like this? Right here with me and some like sort of weird spiritual way in this moment.” That’s calming first of all. Then you can kind of sort of mother that a little bit.
PSN: Right, so that’s like, if you could verbalize that process they would almost be like identify, gain trust and soothe.
Interviewee: Yeah, but in a weirder way because you can’t identify and gain trust with this type of thing.
PSN: Right, with the behavior that’s…
Interviewee: Yeah, that’s not even supposed to make sense. They are not doing that to show you something in particular necessarily. I mean, sometimes yes, but sometimes that’s just how it’s happening, that’s how it’s coming, that’s how it’s expressing. But what’s happening inside is usually. I studied there’s a bunch of them in my first college career a long time ago. There is usually a pretty clear like monologue happening. They can communicate with themselves very well on the inside. Like if they could tell you what’s really happening, if they can manage that somehow and they can get that out there would no problem. But there is this spot where like that inside person can’t get the information to the outside at all. But it’s not like crazy. It’s not like they are actually confused. They are just confused by this.
PSN: Right.
Interviewee: So I try to get to their spot. I try to go to where they are, not where their action is, but where their frustration is.
PSN: Yeah, that makes sense.
Interviewee: You know, if you can get there and kind of hold their a little bit, not physically. But you know sometimes you can do that with your voice, sometimes you can just do that with your presence, sometimes you can do it with a touch, sometimes you can just sit there.
PSN: Agree.
Interviewee: I don’t know if it does make any sense.
PSN: No, it does.
Interviewee: I just don’t know a good way to verbalize that. I’ve been ask that question before especially knowing my go to pretty heavy.
PSN: No, it’s not. It’s good.