Special Contributor Interview # 5: Using Distraction Techniques, Prompts, and Redirecting

PSN: In your experience working here, what if you found like when the kids are in a behavior, what do you do to deescalate them?

Interviewee: First, I try to make sure to avoid any further triggering and I go into positive mode as much as I can. I try to distract them with something that’s usually just verbally. Try to get to talk on something or if possible they are willing to go on a walk with me because a lot of times if I can get them to change their environment that can usually begin the process. So I say, “Hey, let’s take a walk”, and again, if they are willing to go then that usually works.

PSN: Do you find that work at home as well?

Interviewee: Oh yeah, for sure.

PSN: So a distraction technique. And then what you say like as kind of your go-to for keeping them focus and on track, like motivated to work?

Interviewee: I remind them of rewards and lose of those rewards if responsibilities are not pursued and fulfilled.

PSN: Ok, because I am finding with Jazzy that like I don’t necessarily want to use a bribe system like, if you do this I am going to give you this. But I guess trying to make it a point to plant little seeds of self motivation, how do you find?

Interviewee: Definitely encouragement, so anything that I see is worth commenting on that was positive. I am always saying stuff like “Good job”, or “Wow! You’re really good at this. That was really good.”

PSN: So keep them motivated along the way.

Interviewee: Yeah.

PSN: Like building them up through that.

Interviewee: Right. Like, with Johnny for example, when it comes to home work. He struggles to do homework for extended periods of time and that’s a common dimension of school. When he gets home and I know he’s got some work he’s got to do, [unclear – 2:44] but that’s because he’s had a break for long enough. I just say, “Oh, it’s just a page you can do it.” With him he still likes to do things on his own, so sometimes if he can’t really get to it, I’ll tease him and go, “You know, it’s ok. I’ll do it for you.” Then he’ll go, “No, no. I’ll do it.” Then he’ll take the page away from me and then start working on himself and then within 5 minutes he has it done.

PSN: But that like little bit of, that get build up his self esteem to be able to do it himself and

Jazzy does that too. But do you think, do you feel he ever gets little off put if he needs corrections made. Like how does he work with corrections? Like on the homework specifically?

Interviewee: I am trying to think. It depends. If he doesn’t just want to do it then it doesn’t really matter what I say for corrections. He doesn’t bother me. But if he is trying to accomplish something and he feels like he should have done it right and he didn’t do it right he tends to [unclear – 4:05] himself. And I say, “Johnny, it’s ok. It’s a little complicated don’t worry about it.” And I think he is one of those kids that likes to get it right the first time so if he has to erase it and redo it, he just generally doesn’t like doing that.

PSN: So when you say [unclear – 4:29] himself like what does that mean?

Interviewee: He’ll say like, “Ah, I should have done that right.” Almost like he can’t believe it was wrong, like it should have been right. But one thing I haven’t told you that kind of course among that I am noticing more recently is that he is forgetting what he saying almost immediately sometimes. I don’t know if that corresponds of him being tired but we have the Goldfish crackers on a high shelf so he can’t reach them. So he’ll often, he’ll ask me for snack, “Daddy, can you get me some Goldfish crackers.” “Sure.” I get it, pour them on a bowl, and by the time it takes me to pour them in a bowl and I am coming to him, he’s like, “I didn’t ask for that.” I said, “Yeah, you did.” He’s like, “No, I asked for the other crackers.” I said, “No, you said Goldfish.” And so he’ll forget it and then I’ll have to remind him and say, “Ok, well next time I am going to repeat it because that is what you said.” I mean, he’ll fight me to the nail on that. He is absolutely certain he said something else when he didn’t and that’s becoming more frequent.

PSN: That’s interesting. I haven’t then across that in Jazzy, but it’s so addressing some of those things you’re saying just then like Jazzy exactly like that if he’s doing homework or if he’s done homework and I go back through and try to do corrections with him. And it’s almost like a little bit, it’s going to be one of two things. He is either eager to correct it and get it right or he goes down quickly about like, “I am done.” “I don’t know all of that stuff.” So he does that self [unclear – 6:30] also and kind of moping I guess.

Interviewee: But he does like this grunts. He was like, “Urghh.” So frustrating type of comments and he doesn’t like comes up or anything but he’ll just get frustrated. And with that knowledge thing he’ll ask questions and he gets frustrated with himself when he can’t communicate. Sometimes he ask stuff, like he ask me one day, “So, before we were born we couldn’t see, we couldn’t hear.” I’m like, “Well, yeah. I guess that’s the way to put it.” He’s like, “So, what were we doing?” “Well Johnny, that’s a pretty deep question. I don’t know that I can answer that for you? I haven’t really done any studies on pre-existence.” You know, it’s like, what I am going to say to that? But he will get frustrated because it’s like, and I haven’t

pin pointed if it’s just because he wants answers just because he has a craving for answers or if it’s the interaction. He’ll ask questions that just don’t make any logical sense and so I can’t answer them not because there isn’t an answer, but because there is no logical. I am trying to think of a good example but I mean it’s just like he’ll put a sense to get that just doesn’t make any sense. And I’m like, “Well, I don’t understand what you’re saying.” Then he’ll get frustrated and he’s like, “Urgh! That’s not what I’m trying to say.” “Ok, well let’s try to work through it again. What are you trying to say?” And if he can’t piece it together himself that’s why he gets mad.

Interviewer: I would be interested, I don’t know if you’re open to trying a new thing or feel like you have a need to. But I have been trying something at home with Jazzy that I found the last couple of days that has helped, it’s like a potential page where I’ve had him write down things that he commonly gets frustrated with. And so like for his, I ask him to write at the top I am smart, and I have friends, and then something that he is grateful for. Like so for Johnny, it might be like I can communicate well or something like that building that self esteem.

Interviewee: Like confidence and stuff.

PSN: And if you think it, it happens.

Interviewee: Right, because it helps pursuit as opposed to giving up and reiterating with that ability or whatever. That’s a good idea.

PSN: It may or may not help but it has with Jazzy. I would anticipate that Johnny would won because in a lot of ways he is a lot more articulate than Jazzy is, like communicating, a lot more immature in his thoughts.

Interviewee: Well, get mature in his thoughts but the communication there’s still quite a bit of a struggle there. But yeah, that’s a good thought because he gets frustrated very quick and you know part of it is just sometimes he’s just tired. Because the funny thing is like, he doesn’t stay up late a whole lot but if something just gets thrown out of whack time why he stays up late he’ll still get up early. And he won’t take a nap of course he’s beyond that because he don’t take naps anymore. But he’ll just go, go, go and then of course he gets tired and doesn’t realized that he is in trouble.

PSN: That extra tired is it a monster to deal with? And they did find an app for tracking the behaviors. So it just goes by the day and you can put in a level of anxiety, overall mood, level of activity, even like the weather and stuff and kind of get plot a data and see if you can figure out a pattern so that you’ll know every cloud day that we seem to have x, y, z going on we know then we’re going to have that type of thing, so I don’t know. I think it’s just like autism tracker like or something like that. I can send you that.

Interviewee: I’ll check that out.

PSN: I was just trying to figure out Jazzy’s pattern I guess. We went from December to February. It was a nightly meltdowns that would last for a couple of hours to something that he did in February. I don’t know if I told you about that where he was going into a behavior and I just was kind of, I did the behavior myself like not in a mimicking way like I went…

Interviewee: Oh you did tell me about that.

PSN: And that worked for a while and it stopped the nightly meltdowns. But now he started then with this other thing like, they are not meltdowns so much as their little mope fest I guess, so I don’t know.

Interviewee: Our biggest challenge is getting them to do things in a timely manner and if it’s new then it’s really going to take a long time. So when it comes to teeth brushing time I used to be just like right there with him every step of the way. And now we’ve kind of help him kind of do it on his own but he still needs like a timer. So I’ll set a time for a couple of minutes for him to do it. But getting him to do it now is hard like and it’s funny because he’ll even admit where I’ll go like, “Ok, brush your teeth, come back and I’ll set the timer.” And he leaves and then he’s not coming back. I’m like, “Johnny.” He goes, “I got distracted. I got distracted by the dog.”

PSN: That’s cute though, and he knows.

Interviewee: Right. I’m like, “Ok, well, now you know. Go ahead and try it again.” Then usually he’ll do it.

PSN: That second prompt is.

Interviewee: But sometimes it will be through, it just depends. Well, if there is too much going on like, this week is totally thrown out of whack because the in laws are here visiting for the week. That’s going to be interesting. I’m, really hoping they will get the taste of what we go through, what the most challenging times are with him because they want him to come visit for the summer just him for like a couple of weeks. I’m like, “I don’t know if you guys are ready for that.” Because they are kind of old fashioned and my father loves the way of solving autism problems is just rough discipline which of course obviously is not going to work.

PSN: That might not work out.

Interviewee: No, it won’t. Patty is terrified. She is like I don’t want him to go at all. I’m like, “Well, I don’t blame you.”

PSN: Oh, that’s sounds like a simple answer then.

Interviewee: Yeah, that’s probably what we’re going to have to do.

Interviewee: It was a nice offer but.

Interviewee: Well, and here is the funny thing is that we remember vividly that when Andrew was about his age, and Andres he’s not on the autism so I …, he was gone up just a week with them and then we came back and got him. He was a bit of a thumb-sucker but it increase so much that he gave himself callouses. I mean he was just.

PSN: In his time that he.

Interviewee: In his time there it was just anxiety, crazy. And he’s not a rough kid to deal with. He is pretty easy going. But grandma was frustrated with him and I’m just like, “Well, if you’re frustrated with Andrew you think you can handle Johnny?”

PSN: And has Johnny been told about that?

Interviewee: We haven’t a talk to him about it. We are trying to continue with the conversation with my in laws because we got to be gentle with them because they can be kind of pushy and so we’re trying to deal with it. But yeah, we’re going to be pretty strict with that.

PSN: Limit his stressors as much as possible.

Interviewee: Anything else?

PSN: No, thank you.